Pendragons slain by sharp wit of nation

The streets, terraces, bars, clubs and social media feeds rocked to the sound of raucous guffawing on Saturday as the nation pointed and laughed at the newest kids on the far-right block.

The ‘White Pendragons’, for it was they, caused much merriment after they gate-crashed a Fabian Society conference.

The first question on most people’s lips, was “Why?”

Why target a meeting of a long-established centre-left organisation? They’re hardly ISIS or the Revolutionary Communist Party. They’ve had historic links to the Quakers and are committed to non-violent political change.

ITV’s Paul Brand went in search of an answer. Unfortunately, whilst, technically at least, using the English language, floam-flecked Pendragon Dave Witcher was unable to help. His response, which you can view here, was both painful and painfully funny.

On the plus side, Witcher’s crazed rant did provide much light entertainment for the ‘Twitterati’ whom we know to be traitorous Commies, liberal elitists etc.

And so it went on. Amusing but unenlightening as the White Pendragon’s message and purpose remained decidedly unclear,

But no worry, “Chairman, Sarjent at Arms (aka party whip)” David “Davey Russell was on hand to clarify things.

Some of you will no doubt be familiar with Davey, aka DJ Bossman, aka former gobby EDL speaker and convicted racist. My colleague Matthew Collins has blogged about him many a time, including when he tried to organise a dodgy looking charity night for Help for Heroes, who naturally wanted nothing to do with him.

Russell ran an illegal radio station upon which he swore, a lot, as from his bedroom he waged a one man war against lefties and Muslims and fellow members of the ever fractious far right.

Soon though The Man took away Davey’s radio station and indeed his bedroom. Strangely, no amount of shouting about “common law” and the Magna Carta” could stop that. It’s almost like we, as a nation, have moved on.

Anyway the notorious far right activist told Mr Brand that the White Pendragons were not in any way far right. No sirree.

It was Russell who led events inside the Friends House meeting. He does like to be the centre of attention.

Anyway for Davey it’s not the Leninist Fabian Society (!) that are the real villains, but Sadiq Khan. Apparently whilst the people of London voted for Mr Khan as their Mayor, he doesn’t actually represent Londoners. Davey said it so it must be true.

It is certainly of no consequence to the chair of the White Pendragons that Mr Khan is Muslim and brown. Russell is definitely not racist. Apart from when he is. Which is all the time.

Anyway, Russell told the assembled Fabians that he’d called the police and they’d be along soon enough to arrest Mr Khan and throw him in the Tower. In an unsurprising turn of events, they instead chucked the Pendragons out on the street.

It was here that we witnessed phase two of their idiotic PR stunt. They wheeled out a badly cobbled together gallows,the sight of which led Russell to declare: “The gallows awaits anybody who breaks their oath of office.”

From the comments I documented earlier, it is clear he has Sadiq Khan in mind. He wants the elected Mayor of London to be hanged.

Blackpool’s Clare Arrowsmith, a convicted racist and one-time supporter of the criminal drugs gang, the North West Infidels, is less of a fan of the rope. Posting as Binbad Smith (no me neither) she expressed a preference for “holding a gun at his [Khan’s] head.”

Also on hand was mighty Pendragon Kevin Blackburn, who valiantly vied with Russell for attention, waving a cod number plate bearing NO2EU.

It’s a shame he didn’t wave around the registration plate for the ‘Dragons Scottish Division van.

This, it turns out, is neither taxed nor insured.

These are just details you understand. Fellow Pendragon Graham Moore can tackle the legals.

Moore, who may or may not have been a member of Kenneth Noye’s notorious fraud gang is the brains of the outfit. I mean he doesn’t have any but he thinks he does and that’s good enough for his followers.

He wrote a letter to the Lord Chancellor dontcha know. Legally it was complete nonsense, but hey, if you know nothing and are a bit angry about, well, everything, you’ll go with it.

Moore, who runs an outfit called the People’s Bailiffs, could surely use his extensive legal expertise to get the registered keeper off when the DVLA and police come a knocking, querying its status.

Apparently they’re properly afeared of some pseudo legal bod turning up in court to say the Road Traffic Act 1988 is null and void because of that there Common Law.

Moore has also claimed that the Pendragons don’t publish a membership list because the big bad eyes of the state are watching. Graham mate, they could just look at your Facebook friends list. It’s what I did.

It has to be said all of this is comedy gold and yet so outlandishly stupid it would no doubt be rejected as a script by Armando Iannucci. Might be worth a pilot though eh Armando? I mean, Moore would make a fantastic fictional character….so much better than the real life caricature he is.