Who wants to be leader?

The past twenty four hours have been the most difficult for the English Defence League (EDL). Even after mass murderer Anders Breivik was citing them as an inspiration, they could rely upon their leadership to humble and humiliate the organisation through to its next disaster.

Yesterday however, the leadership upped and left their rump, graciously conceding them the name so synonymous with racism and drunken brawling, but extricating themselves along the way, from a diminishing gang that currently has followers and “members” before the courts for among other things, terror-related activities.

Whatever the rights and wrongs of yesterday’s announcement and the ensuing circus that followed it, the EDL is rudderless. A rather short statement appeared on their website thanking Lennon and his cousin Kevin Carroll for their services, while also promising to continue their fight as a “non-racist and peaceful” organisation.

For those left behind, and there are many, there was a mixture of anger and disappointment which as the evening wore on predictably descended into drunken threats and bewildering conspiracy theory. For some, the EDL was for life, not just for “Tommeh”. Lennon has now reinvented himself as never having been an extremist, so for those not joining him in his new ventures, it will eventually dawn on them what he thinks of them.

This morning, fury remains in the counter-Jihad street movement. The EDL cow has been well and truly milked over the past four years, but some say it must continue. A few people are likely to throw their name into the ring to lead the group. I feel it will be an impossible task all the same:

Tony Curtis

Tony Curtis:

Notts based “nationalist” who was once thought of as the third- in- command of the group. He quit in disgust after not being invited to a jolly-up the cousins had in Sweden and then being dumped in Walthamstow when the EDL leadership ran for cover when heir demonstration there went wrong. Curtis formed a very short-live splinter group but has mainly spent his time travelling the country to demonstrations of other splinter groups, where he offers advice and hands out oranges at half time.

Paul Prodromou

Paul Prodromou:

Essex based thug and leader of the splinter group South East Alliance (SEA). His star began falling when his “ten thousand man march” through south London became a shuffle to the train station by forty sorry looking souls. He was then unmasked as the person behind a facebook site extolling its love for him. He has been quiet for a while now, but he was popular with all over splinter groups. London and Essex EDL are unlikely to work with him, however, as he has been waging a war against them since he was expelled/quit (depending on who you believe) from the EDL.

Mark Weston

Mark Weston (aka Alfie Smith):

Believes he is the leader of the English Volunteer Force (EVF), an excitable gang who at least have the sort of name that what’s left of the EDL may wish to rally under. Blessed with fewer brains than even his potential rivals, he does send nice press releases and snap shots of himself and his colleagues to people who aren’t particularly interested in them. Still, the PSNI do seem rather interested in talking to him.

Alan Spence

Alan Spence:

Leader of the EDL in Newcastle and a popular street brawler and thug, Spence used to be bodyguard t Nick Griffin. His family is equally as infamous as Spence, who we christened “Biffa Bacon” some time ago. Not without some brains but in the words of Simon Le Bon he’s about “as easy as nuclear war” to get along with.

Nick Griffin

Nick Griffin:

Griffin may have hated the EDL when it was led by Stephen Lennon, but he was nothing but envious of its “membership”, and went out of his way to ingratiate himself with as many splinter groups as possible.

Adam Walker: He has little else to do.

Paul Golding

Paul Golding:

Even as we speak, Jim Dowson’s office boy will be pressing a shirt somewhere and hoping that he gets a call to lead. Didn’t do a very good job at confronting an alleged “Islamist” recently, when he was chased down Whitechapel Rd by one of them, but still, he’s been closer to one than many others.

John Snowy Shaw

John Snowy Shaw:

When he’s not starving animals to death, John “Snowy” Shaw is out and about calling for “Leaderless Resistance”, because that is what someone wants him to do. He formed the splinter group the “Infidels” and read up on Jew hating soon after and is a popular choice with some. Expect him to throw his name in the ring, because that is what someone will want him to do.

Charlie: Very, very popular within the EDL. Holds conferences in pub toilets. Often the first person the EDL want to see when they arrive at pubs.