Far-right round up

Matthew Collins - 23 08 13
Mosely: Has he risen from the dead to grass his comrades up?

Mosely: Has he risen from the dead to grass his comrades up?

With many of us ordinary folk looking forward to a long and warm weekend, spare a thought for the very few fascists around the country who will be forging ahead with their plans for a race war/ethnic cleansing.

Not for them a picnic or a stroll on a beach. No, there’s important white man’s work to be done. There’s flags to be bastardized and plans to be made.

The festivities will begin tonight in Powys, Wales, when what is left of the BNP begin bedding down at the shooting centre for a weekend of hog roast, spit roast, bacon on toast and a speech by the greatest ham of all-Nick Griffin.

In years gone by, the BNP could frighteningly attract a couple of thousand people to their Red, White & Blue (RWB) f£stivals, but in these much l£aner times, don’t expect many more than a couple of dozen of them to be pissed and Nazi saluting around the camp fire tonight.

Instead of ‘RWB’ this weekend has been dubbed the “Nationalist Village Green”. And, I kid you not, there will be shooting, archery, a trampoline and self defence classes. The self defence is an important component of any BNP shindig. It wasn’t that many years ago that one BNP councillor decided to shove a broken glass into the face of another senior BNP member. Such is the life on a village green these days, apparently.

So, shooting, archery, a pig on a spit, warm lager and ice cool fascism await any BNP member who fancies a look at what life would be under a BNP government. Be warned however, there are no shower facilities on site. That is because Nazis stink.

The BNP has also written to me regarding the fate of Clive ‘Rodney’ Jefferson and Dawn Charlton, the two BNP office workers from Cumbria who face charges relating to their recent electoral failures. Both of them have to go back to court on the 4th of September. Most of the interest in the case is actually about whether Clive’s allegedly dubious past under another name gets a mention.

According to the (begging) letter from the BNP concerning the “Maryport Martys” that will no doubt become Dawn and Clive, it is imperative that the BNP “send the establishment political parties a clear message-that they can no longer persecute BNP patriots without repercussions.” Yes indeed, but of course, there is no word from the BNP about the “persecution” of this BNP “patriot” who went to his local Islamic centre armed with a smoke bomb and a knife.

There is a lot riding on the outcome of Clive and Dawn’s legal problems. Although Griffin would probably welcome not having to pay the pair while they are in prison, it could mean that two other people on the pay roll would have to actually do some work and cover the office. This idea must be terrifying Adam Walker, the king of BNP incompetence, as he is not immune these days to staying in bed until midday as he does not have the means to leave the house. And the other person on the pay roll who could cover the office? Well, she’s far too precious for that complains Adam..

There’s much excitement in the rival British Democratic Party (BDP). Their leader is this morning telling everyone excitedly that Nick Griffin is going to be made bankrupt soon. It’s not likely, sadly, but the good news for the BDP is that their shoe box containing the £13 in party funds has been found and plans for world domination by means of getting bladdered along the ale trail in Yorkshire on the weekends, are back on course. Of course, nobody bothers to invite the party leader to these drunken meanders with dubious foreign guests, apparently on account of his “provincial” accent, which those in the BDP that live far away enough from Tyneside, find unsettling. Worst of all, I’m kidding ye not! Such snobs, how very un-British of them!

There’s a big day ahead tomorrow in the National Front. Some poor idiot will have to count and then somehow, corrupt, the 77 votes that have been cast in their internal elections. Expect the NF to be declared a banana republic sometime on Tuesday morning, as not everybody in the party has been invited to vote in these elections. Already there are promises of more broken glasses getting shoved into faces of candidates. It could turn out be an entirely updated version of the war of the roses. One candidate for the party’s executive has even threatened to drive toYorkshire with some of their close friends and “gut” one NF figure with a butcher’s knife if they are not elected! Talk about bald men fighting over a comb…

For the English Defence League, Monday is a long day of getting bladdered in the name of defending the nation. In Luton, the EDL are having a protest march against a football competition called “Goals for Gaza” which one of their brighter sparks thought was actually something to do with one of England’s finest former football players. The EDL has bizarrely been granted a march at approximately 1300hrs, so obviously, they’re meeting in a pub at 10.00am to ensure they’re quite possibly incapable of walking, let along marching.

There will also be drinking, fighting and death threats in Bolton on Monday also, where the EDL is also having a bit of a “do”. We all know that nothing scares Al Qaeda and the Taliban more than  pissed up English racists in car parks chanting. Their surrenders must be imminent…

It’s been a while since we mentioned the idiots of the “New British Union”  (NBU) the uniformed wing of British fettish movement. The group’s plans for some kind of kinky get together in September in a pub in Suffolk under the guise of a national conference have hit the rocks. Apparently the venue did not fancy dodgy banners and dodgy morons saluting their chicken in a basket buffet lunches, so pulled the plug on them.

It’s a real shame, too, because the first fifty people to attend the conference were going to get free armbands, t-shirts, chicken in a basket and an invitation to join a pyramid scheme. Is it any wonder the old bill confiscated their leader’s gun license? Say what you want, the police do get it right sometimes.

The other problem they had was that only ten tickets were sold. Problem? We were amazed that there were even ten sales to be honest. One of those tickets was sold to the ever-so charming and not a bit disturbed, Mike Mosley who has recently been appointed as their Salford organiser. Not only has this upset the BNP, but it appears the NF too are upset about it. Mosley was supposed to be in the NF, but he faked his own death a month or two ago and got very angry when even his own comrades could not be bothered to mourn him. Indeed, some in the NF say Mosley is a “grass”. Let’s hope not, Mike has been telling anyone who cares to listen that he is in charge of security for David irving’s forthcoming visit to Manchester. We think it is a little unlikely, but you never know.

Other Jew haters and Holocaust deniers doing the rounds recently turned up at a pilgrimige in Germany to SS prisoners who died at an interrogation camp after the war. One of those there was the veteran NF odd ball Richard Edmonds together with Lady Michele Renouf, who spends most of her time these days working it seems for Press TV and or the Iranian government. Contrary to other reports, this year’s proposed march, which was blocked by antifascists, was according to our friends there from www.enoughisenough.eu much, much, smaller than in previous years.

Achtung baby: Renouf (wally with the brolly) and Edmonds spreading the love

Achtung baby: Renouf (wally with the brolly) and Edmonds spreading the love

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