Weir is already weary of new formula fascism.

Weir is already weary of new formula fascism.

Last week my colleague reported on the formation of yet another splinter group from the ever dwindling English Defence League.

The United Patriots of Britain are led by Andrew Edge, who is not the sharpest of even these self-described tools. This is a man who, with a conviction for violent disorder under his belt, travelled from his native Stockport to Crewe in order to pick a fight with some schoolkids.

Unveiling UPB Edge said it would have a 12 strong leadership, nearly all men naturally but with Jenna Louca there to show that when it comes to the UK far right, it’s women and children last. As it turned out, he couldn’t even drum up a dirty dozen for the all new formula fascist outfit. Two roles remained vacant.

Within just six days the new unity group did what all far right splinter groups do: splinter. This speed at which this lot fractured is, though, pretty impressive.

After spending days dealing with incoming from foaming former EDL colleagues, Edge & Co. were then faced with an angry Bill Weir aka Bill Sir William. Like the Hulk, Bill is not a man you want to make angry. He’s fabulously febrile when at his happiest, which is usually when ranting in front of a bunch of pissed up street fascists.

Gathered at last Saturday hilariously poorly attended fascist front of an LGBT demo hosted by Thomas Cook (aka Tommy English), Weir claims that he demanded his name be removed from the UPB roll call. Edge denies this and despite Weir publicly making his position loudly and transparently clear, demanded that request be put in writing before action can be taken. That’s the problem with the modern far right; the bloody bureacracy’s a nightmare.

Weir declines to state why he wishes to depart what is quite clearly going to be a massive new street movement of Establishment-shaking proportions. After all, there’s been no decree stating that members can’t go out on the lash before defeating IS on some over-policed stumble on a randomly picked English town. That’s unlike back at what remains of the EDL where puritanism is in the air, led by Christian-threatening ‘Christian’, John Banks.

Over seven years since it was formed, the new leadership has finally discovered that Eau d’Stella is not the fragrance du jour and that belching Belgian beer fumes and waving tinnies is not the way to win over the great British public. It has to stop says leader Ian Crossland who was last spotted on an EDL demo belching Belgian beer fumes and waving a tinny.

Meanwhile Pegida is also discovering there’s no ‘you’ in unity as former EDL leader Stephen Yaxley Lennon has decided Ann Marie Waters services are now surplus to requirement. To be fair the requirements aren’t much given Pegida under Lennon’s reign has done slightly less than bugger all, bar a couple of incredibly sparsely attended marches. Never mind Tommy, there’s always Twitter to keep you and your many fundraising schemes going.

Officially Ann Marie has “stepped down” from what Pegida now describes as her deputy leader, having previously given her co-billing as part of the leadership team. But seasoned observers can still see the metaphorical boot mark on her bum which, perhaps not coincidentally, appeared immediately after she spoke at Cook’s ill-fated Stockton event. It bears a resemblance to the one she sported when UKIP threw her out.

Down south Paul Prodromou, shouty leader of earlier EDL splinter, the laughable South East Alliance is getting mighty excited for his next demo. This follows in the wake of other successful day trips organised by the Anglo Greek Cypriot, such as two jaunts to Dover which saw so many of his followers sent down, facing charges or still being sought in relation to widespread disorder (one former West Midlands BNP organiser is said to have a particularly twitchy bum following the latest Kent Police appeal).

Not content with the UK voting to leave the EU Prodromou is demanding that the government invoke Article 50 right now. It’s simply not good enough that a full month after the result Johnny Foreigner is still living in Blighty.

Unable to neither sit nor stand for this, Prodromou and Co are set to march on Downing Street. We know this because SEA’s Facebook page has been constantly promoting the event. This mean it’ll be huge right? Well we already know North East na’er do well Alan Raine is capital bound, fresh from his conviction for assaulting a Greater Manchester Police officer. So that’s one of 56 seats gone on the coach the North East Infidels have surely booked for this momentous event?

With days still to go before the history making march Prodromou is already making excuses, claiming his gang’s Facebook page is being mass reported by leftist sorts. It’s doubtful that anyone can be bothered Paul because your page is a) tiny and b) one long repetitive ad for your pointless demo which you claim is going to be mahoosive.

Anyway, let’s be optimistic on his behalf. It’ll be so big that Theresa May will have to take notice, ignore the advice of countless diplomats and economists, and begin exiting the EU before a game plan has been formulated. She’ll looked down fondly upon the ragtag mob of balding middle aged drunks and immediately think of picking up the phone to Herr Juncker. Then, of course, sanity will prevail, she’ll glance down again, turn to hubby Peter and exclaim: “Oh cripes, that reminds me. It’s bin day tomorrow.”

The SEA demo. They may have mentioned it once or twice…