Everyone’s having a smashing time!

It’s all go in the North East over the next couple of weekends with the usual suspects from the usual gangs enjoying packed social diaries.

Wayne Knight, boss of the piddling posse that is Bishop Auckland Against Islam (BAAI) is as excitable as ever.

Indeed his dander hasn’t been this up since the memorable time he decided to pick a fight with his 12-year-old niece. OK, that didn’t end well, but still, he was up for it, big style. There’s no such thing as bad publicity right? So being in the grown ups papers must be good?

Why’s he excited this time?

Well, there’s going to be a demo. Yes another one. Why it seems like a fortnight ago that those fascist feet last hit the North East streets.

Because it was.

But hey, this is a combined demo. Bringing together both BAAI and the North East Infidels it’s therefore bound to be massive. Could even be tens there.

It’s yet to be confirmed whether serial idiot and convicted drug-dealer Warren Faulkner will be among them. If he reads the news, he may have a twitchy bum. This after he previously forged some ill-advised relationships with members of now proscribed organisations.

It’s unlikely though that Silly Billy Charlton will be around, not after those awkward allegations of monies missing which should have been headed to prison wings nationwide. Drown your sorrows in Joseph’s Billy.

We can confirm though that Julie Brownlee will be there, no doubt with megaphone and piss-poor speech in hand. Jules, who also styles herself Jules Brave Hart, was once a big time UKIP flag-waver.

They threw her out on account of the far right platforms she chose to speak. That does make you wonder about the “extreme vetting” Ann Marie Waters is supposed to have undergone, but that’s a side issue.

These days Jules, who is from Lowestoft, likes to hang with the Scottish Defence League and disparate North East groups. This explains her attendance next week. Just as well it’s a weekend though eh Jules? Might be tricky get time off from the consumer advice gig you’ve got otherwise?

But before next week’s protest action, Knight has business to attend to, that business being to threaten his own customers.

You see Wayne and recently released violent thug Daniel Spensley have a window cleaning round. Now, we approve of the fact that these boys are trying to earn a living (you’ve told HMRC right lads?). We do.

We even sympathise with the fact that some of your clientele apparently don’t fully appreciate your efforts with ladder, bucket and chamois (that’s a leather cloth Wayne).

But threatening to put in their windows? No Wayne. At that line we must draw.

A word of advice for you too Daniel Spensley. Firstly your pseudonym is fooling no-one. Ryan Bishop? Secondly, don’t let Wayne lead you on a window breaking mission. You’re still on tag remember? Oh yeah, you do…

Incidentally, if you’re unfortunate enough to be a customer of those pitiful pair, be aware that Wayne has set a deadline of today for settling of outstanding monies. Otherwise….

Before next weekend’s excitement, there more fun to be had elsewhere in the North East.

This is the party planned for Alan Raine and Brian Stamp.

The pair have recently spent some time entertaining m’lord in Liverpool Crown Court.

They were among five initially charged with violent disorder following the North West Infidels (NWI) and National Action’s second ill-fated day trip to Liverpool.

Joining them in the dock were former NWI leader Shane Calvert – who helpfully pleaded guilty on day one – and Wayne Bell whom 12 good men and women true found guilty of conspiracy to violent disorder. Blackburn’s Nicky Prescott was also up and, like Raine and Stamp, adjudged guilty of amended charges.

Anyway, they’re being sentenced soon and so Raine and Stamp are off out on the lash Saturday. It’s almost as if they expect to be sent down.

Here we must pause and consider the likelihood of this dreadful outcome. Raine has previous, including assaulting a police officer on another NWI outing. Stamp is fresh out of jail after walloping someone with a flagpole in Dover.

We’ve paused, we’ve considered. Oh dear.

But you’re free for now so you party on lads. But remember to be back for tea Brian. Yeah, I know mate, probations curfews are right party-poopers aren’t they? Still those bail conditions were being reviewed today. We had ’em crossed for you.