The British Islamist hate preacher Anjem Choudary was jailed for five years in 2016 for inviting support for Islamic State (ISIS).

He was released on licence from HMP Belmarsh in 2018 and was subject to more than 20 licence conditions.

A ban on Choudary speaking in and talking to the media expired in July of this year. Surprisingly, unlike before his conviction, Choudary has not managed to wiggle himself onto any of the many comfortable sofas on offer on terrestrial television stations. Prior to his conviction, he was the absolute and unnecessary darling of British television.

Choudary’s provocative actions coupled with a drop in the price of cocaine were the inspiration for many of the anti-Muslim street movements we saw spring up early in the previous decade. The protests were fuelled both by cheap drugs and lager and by an insatiable, paranoid hatred of all things Muslim.

To be blunt, Choudary’s words, actions and persona helped line the pockets of a lot of white wideboys and heaped hatred and almost unbearable pressure on decent British Muslims. Choudary’s networking and deeds also inspired some British Nazis who would cite Choudary’s networks as a model for their own recruitment and “shedding” of one skin for another. Like Choudary, many of those ended up in gaol, too. And rightly so.

Someone who cashed in on Choudary’s notoriety was the equally miserable, ‘Pontif’ Paul Golding, who has every decent white person apologising that he in no way speaks for them.

Other than wearing women’s knickers on his head to ‘honour’ Britain’s war dead, the stand-out thing, I suppose, about Golding is that he did personally confront Choudary during his time as a media darling, and one would assume at great personal risk to himself. Most other racists just went to town centres and shouted at doctor’s surgeries or people working in shops.

Remembering Britian’s war dead… the Golding way.

Since Choudary’s incarceration and enforced absence, Golding has tried all kinds of scams to keep himself and his largess afloat. Sometimes it feels like the only institution he has not launched a pointless legal battle against is himself. But there’s an idea for him. He should launch a legal challenge to himself for unpaid monies. Or better still, he could try and sue God for impersonating him.

I don’t always subscribe to the idea that people like Stephen Lennon or Paul Golding are the same cheeks on the same backside as Choudary. It’s a bit lazy, but it gets one through the day and it’s what people want to hear in the main.

And so, to lighten the lack of any real delight, Golding is now claiming he and Choudary will have a ‘civilised’ debate live on the last remaining forum that will host either of them. Yes, that still obscure and tasteless Russian messaging service is down to host the pair discussing all kinds of things that tickle their mutual fancies.

An insight into the mindset of Golding (and one presumes Choudary), is the billing of Golding (‘Pontif Paul’) as “representing Britain, Christianity and the patriotic movement.” I’m not sure how the rest of Britain, or even Jesus feels about this kind of billing. Or Nigel Farage, with whom Golding has now relit his earlier obsession.

One thing we do know, if it goes ahead at all, is that Choudary is a very clever and dangerous man. Golding is also dangerous. As he presses his shirt and polishes his badge in anticipation for this clash, Golding will be prepping himself with the usual unfounded nonsense and have on hand someone to whisper words into his ear- as will Choudary. And, as with all these big, fixed fights, you know that the ‘Tomato Can’ has not one hope in hell of landing even one laudable punch, because neither represents either the religion or the vast majority of people they claim to. Their arguments and discussions are as irrelevant as are they both. It’s like two schoolboys in a back garden poking each other with a poo stick. Two irrelevant people with terror convictions and a massive amount of begging for cash donations at the end of it. Shake hands and fight clean boys, there is no better man here to win.

Middlesbrough is in Cleverland

Clever and beautiful people, be prepared

An old friend of mine often regales me about the time he was driven to his new home in Middlesbrough for the first time as a child and was delighted to believe he was in/passed through ‘Cleverland’ and not Cleveland. I hope he’s therefore prepared for the 7th September, when a bunch of clever people being angry about something or other are planning to occupy, or ‘seize’ the local police station in Middlesbrough. This is being done in the name of ‘Article 61’ of the magnificent Magna Carta, the most oft-quoted but unread document in British history. Anyway, I’m guessing it’s all about the Covid-19 vaccine (which are not mandatory) being stuffed with old VCR’s (in particular the Betamax version) and stolen bicycles and then being shoved in the arms of orphans by immigrants. And it makes you gay, obviously. That’s what I’m told anyway…

These angry types are planning on seizing the police station and from there, I guess, the Falkland Islands and loads of cheap booze from the supermarket. Also expect a lot of highly trained Facebook surfers to be there, espousing facts about Y2K and the time they fell off the side of the earth and found out the truth about the Lizard overlords. I’m actually going to this one, it plans to be a magnificent day out. I’m assuming the local police know about this one…