Say Goodbye, Nick Griffin

Griffin: He’ll be blaming the Jews

Who knows what Nick Griffin was up to last night. One would think he’d be knocking on people’s doors and begging them to vote for him today.

Judging by his tweets however, I get the impression he was having a very mild Chicken Korma and plotting with Big Ted what miraculous conspiracies he and the gang will dream up to try and convince the world that he was robbed of his seat in Brussels by the democratic process.

If anyone knows what it is really like to lose elections it is Griffin and the British National Party. They’re masters of the art of it, but still have not got the message. In fact, according to them, it’s everybody else that is wrong. Or black.

So, here is a list of special updates/bulletins/tweets and newsflashes to expect Griffin, Big Ted, Little Ted, Humpty etc, etc to begin broadcasting some time very soon so that the conspiracy can begin before the post-mortem.

Ballot box tampered with: This normally gets tweeted once the BNP scrutinisers realise how few votes they actually have. Normally one of them manages to spot a Jew with his or her hands removing 93% of the votes but they manage to escape before the Aryan guard can catch them. Zionism is like that, apparently. Also, nobody else ever sees the mystery thief-further evidence of the protocols at work.

Ballot box stolen: This happens all the time, apparently. By Saturday morning the street markets of England will be awash with knocked off ballot boxes. You don’t hear about it because there is a conspiracy of silence by the people who own the press. These too are Zionists, obviously.

Sharia Ballots: White people were unable to vote because they lived in area dominated by Sharia patrols and Taliban militias.

Postal vote fraud: Doubt they’ll try that one, again

The gays done it: Never mind the pink pound, it’s the militant gayers up to their dirty tricks stopping Griffin getting his seat back. He did warn us about them, too. Hypocrite.

Fenians were “at it”: Never mind ballots, bullets and bombs. Who can forget Griffin’s long standing love of the Irish and their musical instruments? Griffin will declare the IRA made his votes disappear.

It will go on and on and on. The young BNP, in all their outstanding finery will be the ones charged with spreading the conspiracy theories. You’ll probably find them at a local playground reading the conspiracies from a cue card. One or two of the idiots will probably be dressed up as historical figure from Palestine too.

By all accounts the BNP were the last to leave the offices at the European parliament buildings. They savoured every last moment they had there, licking the windows and removing little keepsakes that will probably end up on their Ebay site in a couple of weeks.

To be fair to Griffin, he probably hasn’t ripped off the tax payer as badly as he could have or like we thought he would do. He managed to keep that “in house”, so all being well, he will return to the BNP and squeeze the very last remaining quid out of that before deciding what to do next. Perhaps a book? Maybe a cookery book? He could merge the idea with an accountancy for idiots guide.

A whole host of BNP staff are now out of work. The chances of them receiving parachute payments is in my opinion, minimal. For the BNP now the work has to begin on rebuilding the party.

Let’s make sure we totally destroy it at the ballot box today, then.

Young BNP: Probably best not to let them in the house…