Britain First leader Paul Golding, normally known as a man of threats, has announced he is putting his not considerable thoughts to paper. Yes, Paul Golding, the man who has brought more than the occasional little shame to a form of politics that has more busted flushes than the outhouse at Armitage Shanks, is threatening to dazzle us all with ‘The Battle for Britain.’

Golding’s memoir is now available to purchase and is promising much:

”The Battle for Britain’ details the horrific persecution Britain First leader Paul Golding has suffered at the hands of the British establishment.’

If Golding were to write an honest account of his life of harassment, surely it would be about the innocent people he has harassed and tormented. Maybe, Golding would even throw in a lament about the stillbirth of an innocent woman’s child after one of his many drunken campaign stunts went awry. But that’s most unlikely, isn’t it.

Golding has made a very profitable living (nearly £150,000 alone in donations to fund his addiction to court) from leading Britain First. He’s coined thousands of more pounds by he and his supporters pretending to be military veterans.

But there will be no word of this, because it will not be a work of honesty. The book’s publicity claims ”The Battle for Britain’ is an epic struggle against extreme odds to survive in the face of terror threats and an unparalleled campaign of state persecution. ‘ The emphasis is their own, obviously.

It’s most unlikely the book will even dwell on the sexual assault allegations, diet pills and vodka binges, Viagra cocktails, hotel punch-ups or trips to the clinic that have so defined Britain First since its inception in 2011. Such omissions for the seasoned readers of political memoirs will be a huge disappointment. I mean, not to dwell on the the very things that have characterised a life in politics, would be almost as criminal as the author.

It will instead follow the common trajectory of complaints that the author persistently broke the law and the Cultural-Marxist Sharia courts tried to silence him.

Britain First are also promising ‘This book is packed with behind-the-scenes information and stories that have never been made public before.’ That’s exciting stuff, we do hope it is not a particular set of photographs of their former Deputy Leader, Jayda Fransen, who has since been airbrushed out of the party’s short history. Although the book does warn ‘Once you start reading this book, you will be unable to put it down,’ so I guess anything is possible. Maybe Andrew Edge was responsible for gluing it together?

Andrew Edge: Has he been at the glue, again?

Golding’s memoir comes at a time of otherwise considerable inconvenience to him. His operations in Northern Ireland have run into trouble. It’s understood a documentary will soon air with horrendous and startling allegations about his activities there and his former partner and deputy Jayda Fransen appears to now be in league with Golding’s former mentor and the party’s founder, Jim Dowson.

Fransen and Dowson: Powerful enemies

When the far-right do release these sorts of memoirs it is always a bitter disappointment. The late John Tyndall managed to bed a perfume heiress, for instance. In fact, he was engaged to be married to her. Sadly for Tyndall, he could not perform between the sheets and she ran off with a bitter political rival. Surprisingly, Tyndall did not mention it once in his memoirs.